Category Archives: Relationships

Friday Thoughts – November Rain

December 2, 2016 cb3 Leave a comment

Not Even Cold November Rain

Maybe it’s the weather or maybe it’s due to dwelling on the current domestic challenges but whatever it is, it has me in a bit of a funk. Might as well write about the rain. November ended the drought and wildfires of the past few weeks with a blaze of glory. Heavy rains with tornadoes in some areas ended a 66 day stretch of dryness.

In a way, I almost feel like my personal life needs a tornado to blow through and kick things up. The routine is wearing a bit thin. Granted, I’m being extra complain-y for someone that just got to go out hiking last week. but it’s deeper than a day trip is going to fix.

I was not cut out to be a housewife (no offense to housewives, totally tongue-in-cheek self-deprecating humor here).

The Job Thing

I feel like I’ve been constantly behind the curve for the month. We’re reaching crunch time before the year end freeze and I only have two weeks left to make some key deliverables. It really bothers me that personal life has impacted my business life. I’m somewhat competitive in the workplace and have not been on my A game.

I’m going to focus on spending more days in the office in December (even though I hate intentionally commuting). Hopefully this will help break the cycle and some of the assumptions about the domestic items that I should be able to accomplish during the work day.

Yeah, sometimes working from home sucks.

Let’s Focus on the Positive

There are a few things going in the right direction. So I can’t be completely grumpy. First of all, after the year-end freeze starts at work I’ll be able to take some time off. Right now I’m planning at least the week between Christmas and New Year’s Day.

During the break, I’ve already made plans to meet up with some friends in Nashville to catch the Predators game against the Blackhawks. It’s been a couple of years since I’ve made it to an NHL game so I’m really looking forward to it. I’ll probably fly this one solo so I can’t get some ‘me’ time as well.

Share Granted

Today another RSU grant vested. The tax withholding shares weren’t quite as drastic as I expected so we got a little bit more than originally anticipated. This will give us around $4500 dollars to allocate in the following way:

20% to Savings Account
20% to my IRA
20% to Mrs. CB3’s IRA
20% to 529 plan
20% to Charitable donations

We’ll be having a family meeting Sunday night with the kids to discuss which Charitable organizations that we want to support. I really want to make sure the children are part of this process.

New Focus on Investing

Another positive from the week was a suggestion to check out Bigger Pockets to assist with my research into Real Estate Investing. What a wealth of information! I’ve only just started to scratch the surface.

Over the next couple of weeks, I’ll be working on more research as well as putting together an investing (business) plan for this area. I also need to revisit my investing plan for stocks and update that as necessary. Most of my money is managed in that arena, but I do dabble a bit.

Focus on the Magic

The last bit that I’ll leave this week is about the magic of the holidays. My daughter is nine this year and it occurred to me that there will probably come a time soon when a certain truth comes to light for her. Whether it’s from her peers or because she sneaks around and makes a discovery like I did, I know the time will come.

It’s interesting to think back to before I had children. I never thought that I wanted to participate in such a deception. I used to think it was a silly thing to do.

Now I realize how important it is for children to be able to have that kind of magic in their lives. I wish we as adults were able to hang onto that and still have it in ours. It’s unfortunate that it comes to an end and we allow ourselves to be consumed by the dictum of society to conform.

We need more magic in this world.How will you add a little magic?

Cheers!

-cb3

Life, Relationships, Stocks

Friday Thoughts – Election Week 2016

November 11, 2016 cb3 2 Comments

What a Week

Well this has definitely been a draining week for a lot of reasons. I’m currently sitting in a coffee shop sipping a $6 coffee and trying to compose my thoughts. Yeah, I went there. Spent the money and it feels good. I just had to get out of the house today and break the routine. Work from home productivity hit a low this week and it was time to shake things up.

Here’s where we are…

The Election

Honestly, this didn’t go the way I expected in the front of my brain, but in a way the back of my head knew it would. Let me explain. My current life is that of a tech worker for a silicon valley company. It’s a very intellectual world and influences the way I view the world. I’ve read lot of posts about echo chambers and confirmation bias and I can say I think it’s true. I’m guilty.

This hasn’t always been my life though. I grew up (junior high/high school) in rural East Tennessee. I still know some of the people there even though I don’t see them often. I’ve heard how the financial crisis impacted them. I know why they’re angry and I get it. It sucks.

The real challenge that has caused the most emotion is the negative fallout from this election (and it’s on both sides). A lot of very negative things were said during the process and my fear is that there are groups of people that now feel validated and empowered because of this rhetoric. We live in the South. I know it’s been hiding in the woodwork and now I’m afraid it won’t hide but maybe getting it out in the open will help us heal it.

We have to listen. We must ask how we can help make things better. My wife’s first reaction was to say we needed to move out of the country. That’s something that we’ve talked about doing anyway for a while, but I don’t want to do it for this reason. Running away doesn’t help anyone.

The Market

I watched the futures quotes the night of the election. I’m not going to lie, that was scary too. The S&P hit it’s limit down for after hours trading. The next day everything was sunshine and lollipops. I can’t predict the future but I can stick to my plan. My timeframe is not this week or next. I’m in this game for years. While it’s also true that I dabble in trading as well as investing, 99.5% of my assets are in my investing accounts. One of these days I’ll post about that too, but let’s just say I’ve managed the risk by limiting what I play with personally.

I know it can be scary to see large down days or stretches of decline, but remember the best lesson you can learn is to plan your investments and then invest according to your plan. The market will reward that over the long time and will punish the emotional response.

Going Forward

Like Pop said in Luke Cage, ‘Always forward, never back’. Let’s work on that together. I’m going to be looking for ways I can help. It’s time to be more involved in the community and it starts with me.

For now, let’s all breathe and listen.

Peace

-cb3

Life, Relationships

Friday Thoughts – Dinner with a Friend

November 1, 2016 cb3 Leave a comment

Catching Up

The other night (last Thursday to be precise), I took the opportunity to catch up with an old friend for dinner. This was out of the ordinary for me for a couple of reasons. I’m not usually one to take time away from family operations on a week night, but I needed it and when it was all said and done I’m glad I did. It was also a good opportunity to hit one of my favorite brewpubs down in the city that I rarely make time to visit.

She was in town for a business conference. In the sixteen years since we were in college together, we lost touch for the majority and have managed to catch up a handful of times in the past couple of years. Her husband and I were friends through the campus theater and we all spent a lot of time hanging out together outside of class. I was always closer to her on a personal level, so it was easy to catch back up on everything that’s been happening in our lives.

We covered a variety of topics over the course of the evening. Marriage, kids, jobs, personal finance, politics, and social issues were all present. There may have even been a tangent about beer in there somewhere. When dinner was over, I drove home and kept thinking about some of the things we discussed. Here are a few of the things that are lingering in my thoughts:

Kids

This was an interesting discussion. While my friend and her husband are a couple of years younger than I am, they have a son that is a senior in high school. My oldest is nine and the youngest is five. It feels like I’m ages away from experiencing the things that thet currently have happening in the child department.

She has had to manage college searches and high school dating drama. My biggest challenge is getting the oldest to eat and actually do her homework for more than five minutes.

I did listen intently and file away a lot of her experience for later. I’m sure at least some bit of it will come in handy. It’s still strange to talk to someone that is younger and know that they are farther along in some aspect of life. They’re going to be empty nesters next year. I’ve got over a decade bfore that happens!

Finance

We didn’t discuss numbers, but it felt good to be able to go into a discussion about finance with a person that I view as ‘having it together’. She and her husband both make good salaries in Tech and the only debt they’ve ever carried has been the mortgage and occasional car payment. They invest and are building for the future. Three years ago I wouldn’t have been able to even broach the topic.

Now the thing that struck me the most is that I’ve been doing this on a single income. My wife left work six years ago for mental health reasons (being a teacher and having a family takes a lot out of you). I supported her in that move and also in her eventual choice of career change from educator to part-time naturalist.

The thing is, though, I can’t help but imagine what life would be like if we were bother contributing to the FIRE goal. On a not so positive note, I’m reminded that I’m the only one working toward my goal and this is due both to necessity and my own choice.

Marriage / Relationships

This is a really tough topic for me to write about regarding my thoughts. Things have not been going well lately. Don’t get me wrong, there’s no hostility or negativity but we’re just not working together as partners anymore. I’m basically in a situation where I have more of a roommate that is in the business of raising two children with me. However, when it comes to life outside the children, we’re basically heading down separate paths.

I don’t want you guys to think that this is something new or that it’s something I take likely. Over the course of our ten year marriage, we’ve had our share of struggles as well as good times. We’ve both worked very hard at times to keep it together and continue to build. Unfortunately, when one half of the partnership has been down for so long it starts to take a toll.

Being able to talk to my friend about some of what’s been happening was extremely helpful and provided a much needed outside perspective on the situation. Hearing what it’s like to have a more balanced partnership instead of one where one half is always sacrificing to care for the other was a conflicted wake up call. It made me realize that is what I want. I could, maybe, someday have that. Maybe I don’t have to keep sacrificing my needs for the greater good.

Like I said, it’s a tough topic. I don’t have any answers right now and I’m not sure I will for a while. I struggle with it most days. Honestly, it’s why I haven’t been writing as much. It’s hard to be inspired when this is the relevant topic at hand, but this is my current truth and that’s part of what this blog is supposed to be about.

The Past / The Future

We also took some time to reminisce about the days back in college. It seems like so long ago in some ways. I look at the person I was then and realize what I long way I have some. Going from student to summer camp counselor to IT professional it seems like I’ve lived three different lives. I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Where I head from here is the open question. Which path will lead to the best outcome for everyone involved? Can I still consider a plan to early retirement with the challenges ahead? I’m not sure. I do know that for now, I’ll keep doing what I’ve been doing and attempt to improve every day.

That’s all we can ever really do, is it not?

Cheers,

-cb3